The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
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Actually, there isn’t any “Mensa Invitational,” but The Washington Post does have a wonderfully clever humor contest called The Style Invitational. And two Invitational contests from 1998 are the sources of many of the neologisms in the list above. (But not all: For example, “decafalon” isn’t a one-letter change from “decathlon,” is it? Or “caterpallor”?)
Much better to see the the current Invitational — every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. We’ve had more than 600 contests since the ones above! The Style Invitational is published every Sunday in The Post’s Style (features) section, and every Friday afternoon at about 3:30 Eastern time. The contests encompass a wide variety of humor genres, from cartoon captions to song parodies, but there are neologism contests regularly as well.
In fact, our Jan. 23 contest is to move the first letter of a word to the end, and then define the new word. Examples: Ardiness — The feeling of being cramped in a small space. Elved: Dug a North Pole hole.
And here are some results for a recent contest for short notes from one famous person (or thing) to another:
Dear Leonardo: Your fly is open. – Sincerely, Mona Lisa (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
Dear President Lincoln: Please note change to “87” for conciseness. – Sincerely, Copy Editor (Beverley Sharp, Washington)
Dear Rap: Who’s your agent? – Sincerely, Poetry
Dear Brain: Hope you enjoyed your nap. We were really busy while you were off duty! – Nether Parts (Beverley Sharp)
Dear Fast-Food Customer: Maybe I’m just insecure, but I just always want you to want me. – Cheese on That (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)
See the rest of the winners and learn how to enter the current contest at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. Or you can become a fan of “Washington Post Style” on Facebook (go to facebook.com/wapostyle ) and you’ll get a link to the Invitational when it’s posted. I hope you become a regular reader and maybe even a regular entrant.
Best, Pat Myers
The Empress of The Style Invitational
The Washington Post
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