If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper to get through a 14 day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before Covid-19.
Many parents are just about to discover that the teacher is not the problem.
This is the first time in history that we can save the human race by lying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not screw it up.
My cleaning lady just messaged that she is working from home today. She sent me instructions on what to do.
Jewish irony: Passover canceled because of a plague.